forever-waiting.net

Well I finally did something I’ve been wanting to do but have been too afraid to. I asked for help. I called the LC at the hospital and she told me to come in. So Gracie got fed at 6am and then we held off until 9 when we went to visit. I had attempted to get her to latch the night before and was granted with screaming. It was hard for the first few minutes because she resisted like crazy. Finally we got her on and apparently my production is fine. She is going on vacation but told me she’ll call me next week to check up. I went to Randy’s moms after because he had an appointment in the afternoon as well. We got back at 10:30 and that’s where the hell began. She wanted to latch and would not stop crying until she did. We did this until close to 2pm with me getting quite exhausted from the continous crying after she’d unlatch due to falling asleep. I was getting quite close to throwing in the towel already.

Randy had his appointment and came back. She had fallen asleep in the car on the way and woke up about 20 minutes later. Randy’s mom wanted to hold her and whatnot but she wanted no part of it. She wanted to be on me. Randy’s mom isn’t too happy about the breast feeding as evidenced by the “Can’t you pump so I can take her on Thursday?” 1. It’s too early to pump that much if even possible 2. She needs to avoid bottles. 3. She’s not a borrow-a-baby. Then his dad for some reason is anti breast feeding and keeps telling me to use formula even though I want her on BM. I explained her constipation issues and he’s like well switch formulas. I am, it’s called the body’s formula. I really need to avoid people like that because they’re very discouraging.

We got home with me exhausted beyond belief. After rocking gracie to sleep I managed to get 2 1/2-3 hours of sleep. Now we’re up. I’m nervous because she seems to want to be on constantly and I’m not sure whether it’s a comfort thing or she’s not getting enough. That’s my fear with breast feeding and partially the reason I stopped at the beginning, because she was so fussy due to not eating enough. I know about the wet diapers thing but her fussiness is what gets me. All we can do is keep going and see how things go.

And a picture from about 10 minutes ago. She always eats with her eyes closed

I think this is blog posting month or maybe I’m losing it. Anyways, Happy November. It’s not really my favorite month. It seems to go by slowly. I love the Christmas season in December but I’m not too sure this year. I hate having to shop because of the crowds. I hate them with an undying passion. I also get sick of Christmas music a week after Thanksgiving.

Life has been the usual except for spending more time with Randy. We’re finding ways to do small things together which mean of a world of difference. We went shopping as a family Friday night and got Gracie a travel swing which she isn’t too keen on. I think it moves too fast for her even on the slow setting so we’re going to put it aside for a few weeks and try again. If she doesn’t end up liking it we’ll probably sell it and get a bit of the costs back. I also recently bought 4 Bum Genius cloth diapers and a blueberry as well. Then I gave in and bought a Moby last night. I’m exceited for my packages. My husband does not help with spending either because he almost always says “Just go ahead and buy it”. It’s nice but can be very dangerous as well.

Speaking of my lovely husband, he got a different position which he is training for. It’s a $1.55 raise from his previous position and soon he will be making that rate full time instead of just a few hours a week. This also makes his overtime even prettier. I don’t think it’s too bad for 4 months at his current job. I can’t help but be proud of him. So many people told me when he was in prison and before that I was wasting my time being with him and that he’d be the same when he got out. I told them no, he was young and stupid. He made a mistake because he didn’t know any different and that’s how he grew up. I was right. He’s been home for 11 months as of today and completely turned his life around. Here’s a cut about baby constipation issues I’m sure not everyone cares to read about. (continue reading…)