Pros and Cons of each situation and credit card info stolen
by Amanda on Jan.18, 2010, under Uncategorized
I really want to thank everyone for the support these past few weeks as I stress about finding an apartment. It helps to know I’ve got some awesome people to turn to. We still have not made an official decision on what we’re going to do, as sad as that may seem. We haven’t really sat down to fully discuss it because emotions on both ends usually cut it short. There are both pros and cons to both decisions here and I’ve been looking them over and I just… I don’t know. For the most part, Randy will go with what I decide because I try to see the bigger picture but I want to do what is best for both of us. I’m going to list them out here to see if maybe a solid visual will help me decide and I can show it to Randy to see his input when looking at the larger picture.
Currently Randy’s net pay is approximately $1800/month with no overtime. It has a possibility of increasing but not decreasing. He currently drives 15 miles to work. We live in an upstairs apartment on a residential street in a decent neighborhood. We pay $450/mo rent plus about $185 for heat/electric combined average since the winter is about $240 and summer like $120 or so. Gas runs us usually $65 a week. Internet is $40/month. So our monthly expenses beyond credit cards/insurance are roughly $750.
Option 1: Go back to parents
Pros
- Huge money saver. No rent payment/gas/electric/internet. My parent’s house comes with my dad’s job. We will be renting a storage unit for most of our stuff though.
- Occasional help with Gracie (this is both a pro and con) since Randy works and has a weird sleeping schedule.
- We’re in the country where we’re both comfortable
- We get to keep Colby, he can run freely, and has Layla to play with. He also has separation anxiety and has issues listening to anyone but Randy or I
- Randy can work on his project truck any time instead of traveling 22 miles one way every time he gets the urge Cons
- Lack of space. Randy and I would probably be sleeping on couches/air mattresses in the living room with our computers in the dining room. This means NO privacy
- Slower internet. As a gamer and working on ChaCha it matters hugely. It makes it almost impossible to do either of them
- TOO MANY PEOPLE. There will be 9 counting Gracie. At least 2 of these people are incredibly negative people to be around and drive me fucking nuts to live with
- Outside influences while raising Gracie. I don’t like my parenting criticized.
- We have our own space still
- My sanity doesn’t suffer from people being around 24/7
- Randy and I have our privacy
- Looking at the listings in the paper we are going to have issues finding something for this much so our monthly expenses are increased
- We will most likely end up 10 miles further from his work in a small city which is quite ghetto, tbh
- We don’t have our puppy who has only been away from us 1 day since he was born. He is so attached he runs errands with us
Option 2: Get an apartment w/o Colby
Pros
Cons
K, writing it down helped. Looking at this list, the best option appears to be #1. What does everyone else think? We are looking into applying for a mortgage and actually applied Thursday night for a pre-app through HSBC and expect a call Tuesday to see how it went. Then we will go from there as well.
On a pissy note I have 3 unauthorized transactions in my bank (1 from zappos, 1 from Itunes, and 1 from VPgames.com) totalling about $550 but the VP was reversed and they total $100. I called BoA and they cancelled my card immeditately, mailed me a new one, and I can get a temp Tuesday from the bank. Randy’s is still open since he doesn’t use his online (where I suspect it got stolen from). They said once the other transactions come out of pending status they’ll dispute for me and I should be able to get the money within 24 hours. Since we currently have the funds it’s not as major of an annoyance as if we were living penny by penny but still annoying nonetheless to deal with. ARGH.
I’m also suffering from insomnia hardcore right now. It blows.
January 18th, 2010 on 5:23 am
Living with parents could also allow you to save money for a down payment on a place, so could work out better long term. You’re a financial ninja for making $1800/month work with 3 people and one dog! With those skills, you could build up a nice nest egg in no time.
What is the child care situation in your area? Could you get a place with slightly more rent and take in 1-2 kids during the day (or night) to make up the difference? This would allow you to have your own place, stay home with Gracie, and keep Colby. Not sure if that would work with having to drive Randy to and from work.
January 18th, 2010 on 7:42 am
Hey Amanda, I’ve been reading your blogs too, sorry I haven’t been too good at commenting. It does look like #1 is the best option, even though it has its drawbacks. Of course, even that isn’t permanent and like Lisa said you could move back for 6 months or a year just to save up money to get a better apartment or even a house.
January 18th, 2010 on 11:36 am
Hey, I would recommend going home to your parents for a small time. Maybe a couple months. Yes your sanity will be shaken but you’ll have time to separate from the pup a bit. Let him get comfortable with your family away from you, and save some money. Things will open up around summer time that’s usually when people move.
January 18th, 2010 on 1:26 pm
Manda, I’m so sorry about the card and everything. I think with time running low it’s best to think option number 1 and still plan for option #3, which is finding an amazing place where Colby can stay.
Every once in a while there are great deals here on mobile homes people are trying to sell. If I were you I’d save up what you would be spending on rent, internet, etc for a BIG untouched fund to build while you’re living with your parents. You can also set a goal of getting out of there by X date. In the meantime, enjoy the savings and try to get out of your parents house for walks, errands, etc, with Gracie so you’re not cooped up with 9 people all day. You’ll do great!
January 18th, 2010 on 5:20 pm
As rough as it might be, I think going back to your parents is the most logical and mature choice. In the long run, I think it will be the most beneficial to all of you. I hope that things work out for you, hun!
January 18th, 2010 on 10:17 pm
I would go to my mom’s in that situation. I couldn’t be separated from my dog Veda, it’s awful : ( I worry about that as it is. That something will happen and we’ll have to try to find a place that will let us keep two huge dogs. So difficult!
Have you thought about looking into getting Colby service dog training? : P Apparently you can do it yourself. Managements may have to let you move in with him if he is a service dog!
Funny that so many people have unauthorized uses on their cards : ( My cards get turned off without notice because I’m using them and I have to call and have them turned back on. They don’t even just hold the ‘suspicious’ transaction(s) and allow my bills etc to continue going through. Sooooo obnoxious!
January 19th, 2010 on 9:22 am
Agree with the others, maybe live at your parents for awhile while you are trying to get back on your feet… maybe set some ground rules before you move in with your parents maybe say look I will raise gracie the way I want, I don’t want to be told what to do, if you do want to say something to me say it in a nice not telling me off way??
I hate when people use other peoples bank cards
I had a credit card set up in my name while I was out of the country! And all the company could say was oh it was lucky it was sent to your house, I was like idiots!
January 19th, 2010 on 8:31 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t your parents and/or brother smoke? I think that would be a huge con, since obviously secondhand smoke is dangerous. I don’t think you want Gracie exposed to that.
And speaking from experience, moving back in with parents after you’ve been on your own AND with a child is not fun. You’ll be under your mom’s thumb, Gracie might be confused and/or overwhelmed with all those people and all the noise, and you’ll no doubt go crazy with the lack of privacy.
I personally think that option #2 is your best bet. I know you both love Colby, but in the long term I just don’t see #1 working out so well.
But in the end, it’s your decision to make, and I hope that you and Randy make the one that makes you the happiest.
January 20th, 2010 on 10:14 am
I’m so sorry things aren’t going great for y’all right now. I already said if you guys were closer I’d have you move in with me, haha. I think it’d be hard for Randy to work and/or check in with parole from Texas, yes? :X
I hope whatever choice you make, it helps you. Maybe if you live with your parents for a while, you can save some money and afford a down payment on something nicer.. and even maybe get to the point where you’re making more money online or something. Would it be possible to put a little bit of the money you’re saving towards speeding up their internet? Whatever ends up happening, I hope y’all continue to be healthy and relatively happy. I hate seeing friends in bad situations!