Shutter Island and p90x

Last night Randy and I had a “date night” and went to see Shutter Island and went to dinner first. The day started out rocky since he went on no sleep (couldn’t sleep when he tried) and we got into a mini fight but it was stupid and we hung out at his mom’s house for a bit. Then we went to eat and he spilled my entire glass of Pepsi ALL over me. My shirt was soaked, my jeans were soaked, and all I could do was stare at him with my mouth dropped open. The glasses at this restaurant are like 32oz so believe me I was WET. Thankfully he had a hoodie in the truck which was a little snug but nothing unbearable and my jeans had to just dry on their own. Despite that we talked a bit and just enjoyed ourselves. We headed off to the movie theater to see Shutter Island and he fell asleep the entire movie from exhaustion. It sucks in some regard but I got to see the movie and he used me as a pillow the whole time so it works. I didn’t expect that story line at ALL so definitely go see it. I highly recommend it.

We got home at about 10 or so and immediately went up to bed and snuggled and slept. It’s nice to sleep together once in awhile. I miss that with him being on 3rd shift. I’ve done 2 days of p90x and ouch. The first day I completed it and was exhausted (although ab ripper X I struggle hardcore with. I have a LOT of excess fat and NO balance so some positions are difficult to even get into let alone hold) and yesterday I made it until 20 mins of plyometrics was left. I definitely don’t have endurance and my heart rate was above the threshold. Next time I’m going to try to make it through the entire workout. I also still have a sprained toe which made jumping VERY difficult every time I came down. I have issues even walking on it. I was definitely working but I can’t expect to be as fit as they are or even a normal person because I don’t have an active life style and I’m not going to pretend that I do. Today I’m doing shoulders/arms and ab ripper X. I hope to get a little further with Ab ripper (make it through each exercise without time left) and I’m going to get a few stronger resistance bands today as well.

I’m struggling especialyly when it comes to support. I got wise cracks from my mom about “Well how long are you going to stick with THIS?” and laughing at me struggling to do a certain exercise or whatever. That right there is why I find it so hard to workout. I’m SO self conscious and I don’t need negative influences. I shouldn’t be ridiculed for trying to do something to change my body which I’m most definitely NOT happy with. I just know today that EVERYTHING HURTS. Abs and legs the most.

On the food front, changes haven’t really been made too much. I’m trying to make baby steps here instead of diving in all at once and failing. My biggest struggle is pop and I can’t do diet (ewww artificial sweeteners). I can’t handle them in ANYTHING so sugar free this or that is out of the question. All I can say right now is that I’m trying. It has to count for something.

Stuck in a rut

Mentally right now I’m in a huge rut. I’m in a very life sucks and nothing is working out right now woe is me rah rah mood. I’m anti-social to everyone. I’m not talking to my family much, sleeping a lot more, and just…. blah. I usually get on and game every night with guy, alvin, and corey but I don’t even want to do that. I just want to curl up and shut away from everyone. I know this financial rut we hit will pass and we’re already beginning to climb out of it but at a cost.

I miss my husband. Between the fact that his commute is about 25 minutes longer now each way plus us getting a vehicle which requires some maintenance (therefore he spends any waking time in the garage) and overtime the only time I see him is right in the morning when he’s home from work before Gracie wakes up which is anywhere from 7:15-8:30. We cuddle and chat and then he’s off until 5:30/6 and there’s no us time. We don’t have privacy either so even time we do have together is open with everyone else. He’s on a 7 days on 1 day off schedule now so we don’t know when his next days off will be but as of now his next day won’t be until next Saturday which is 13 days straight. Overtime @ $22/hr is nice. I know I sound like I switch thoughts in the middle because I complain about money issues and then when that is being fixed I’m not happy because I miss him too much. I can’t win for losing.

On a positive note my brother got invited to beta test Starcraft 2 and it is AWESOME. He let me have his login info so I can try it out too and it’s just… worth the wait I’d say. I also obtained p90x or should say I’m in the process of it thanks to Anna inspiring me and once I get the program I intend on doing it. Maybe that will give me a goal and something to do every day since it’s very motonous living here. I don’t have the entire house to clean anymore and I get a lot of help with Gracie so I have more free time. I bought a few weights, a yoga mat, and resistance bands along with some protein bars in preparation. I need to find my DVDs to burn the videos. My sister is going to do it with me and maybe my younger brother too since we all need it. For now I’m going to go curl up in bed with some wife swap. Oh what fun.

The past stings

My twitter followers should know this already but our entire tax refund was taken on both the state and federal levels to pay for spousal support to Randy’s ex. I really don’t want to get into ALL the details about how much bullshit this whole situation is BUT we were expecting $6800 or so and she is now basking in it, plus her tax refund. It makes my blood boil and it stings knowing that she gets that money that she is definitely not entitled to.

I wrote a past entry about it with details but in short they were married a month and she got knocked up by another guy but Randy didn’t show up to court while he was in the halfway house 3 hours away so he got a ruling against him and it didn’t get terminated for almost 2 years at $75/week. He now owes about $300 to her and then that will be done. I can file an injured spouse form but like we both said, why? They’ll just take it next year from his portion and it’s better for both of us to just let this finish itself out and put her in the past completely. Karma will bite her in the ass in the future. He fully admits she was his biggest mistake, even moreso than him going to prison. I keep telling myself that she may have taken his money but we have each other, our beautiful daughter, and money will continue to come in our direction from his hard earned paychecks.

On the other note here, this means we are now stuck here a bit longer than we anticipated. We owe my parents for our vehicle and then we have to save up to move out again, which gets rather pricey as many may know. *sigh* Being grown up is definitely no fun.

Too lazy to think of a title

I feel like I have nothing to blog about lately. I’m quite miserable in general though due to being overwhelmed with the living situation (omg stuff everywhere of every bodys). There are 8 people here and 1 baby plus 2 dogs. 3 bedrooms. I’m constantly walking into something or tripping over something else. BAH. Sometimes I just want to go be alone but it’s hard because there is no where to just be alone here. I enjoyed the past 2 hours because my brothers (plus the friend of his living with us) were at school, mom and sister were running errands, dad was at work, randy/baby sleeping because I had silence and it was blissful.

As for an update on our general situation, ummm, apartment listings are scarce. It seems no one is moving lately and we are limited to this county only soooooooo I check every day and cross my fingers for that 1 that will appear. We get our tax return in exactly 1 week (I’m jealous of people who filed and got it in 1 week, I filed almost 2 weeks ago). We will have roughly $3,000 to use for getting a place and finding a vehicle for randy since $1,000 goes to my parents and another $1,000 for his fines/re-application for license. Financially we’re OK and I’m glad to say we can afford luxuries every so often but I reallllly want to find somewhere else to live.

My truck/blazer/whatever is doing good. They replaced the part this weekend and the engine light shut off so Thursday we get the NYS inspection done and Randy has a few tune ups to do on it this weekend but I’m really liking it and 4 wheel drive is some awesomesauce. *Yawn* I felt like death warmed over yesterday for some reason I had a horrid headache and intense nausea. Yuck.

The internet seems slow lately. What’s up in your world?

Goodbye my faithful Taurus

Well Randy and I have had a few minor issues with our car for awhile but nothing that made it un-drivable, until a slip on slush had our ass end hit a curb at less than 5mph. Our unibody was so weak that it is now bent, aka, shot. So we began the hunt for a new vehicle. We surfed Craigslist for an hour or so and Randy called one and said I think I found one. We made arrangements to have his mom take us down (75 miles one way!) and made absolute certain we had all the stuff to transfer our current registration over so we could drive back. After the DMV we were the happy owners of a 1996 Chevy Blazer. About 10 miles down the road 1 of the brake lines blew due to it sitting for awhile and the pressure so it was ever so fun driving back with only front brakes, I tell ya. When all was said and done though we did make it back in 1 piece and now it is sitting in my driveway. Randy will be replacing the brake line tomorrow after work since he’s running on no sleep and needs rest before his shift tonight. It has a remote starter and brand new tires on it (less than 300 miles) and routine maintenance. We only paid $1,000 for it as well.

Gracie had her 4 month appointment tomorrow as well. She got her shots again and cried for all of 30 seconds. As soon as I handed her to daddy she was content. She is 24 inches long and weighs 13lb13oz. The doctor LOVED my cloth diapers. He had me show him how to use them (inserts in pockets) and then said he liked them and they were much better than disposables against the skin. Here is a picture I just took of her. My flash on my camera doesn’t work anymore (idk why) but it’s why pictures are few and far between now.