forever-waiting.net

I’m trying to keep a positive view on this shitty circumstances by reminding myself that it’s over and done with, we can’t change it. I’m grateful that the court proceedings are done and no amendments can be made to the amount that would cause even more hardship to us. I’m also hoping I never have to see her troll of a face again. We will be able to pay in weekly amounts much like child support works but that amount per week is still yet to be determined. They factor in costs of living/wages and us being married and his dependents will definitely assist with keeping the amount low over a longer period of time. She is what she is and karma will come back to bite her.

In the larger scheme of things it’s only money. I have him and we are expecting our daughter in only a short time period. We have a dog we love to death, a place to live (although we may have to penny pinch a bit more), and can afford a few luxuries like internet and the occasional going out to eat. We’re both in good health and have amazing family support networks.

Now onto more cheery topics, today I am officially 37 weeks or full term. This excites me somewhat but doesn’t in some other ways because I’ve known women who can go to 42 weeks. I’m hoping I’m not one of those. I have my weekly doctor appointment tomorrow which is usually a quick and painless ultrasound to check the heart beat, fluid, and my blood pressure along with amniotic fluid amounts. She’s low right now as I can tell by the pressure on my bladder 24/7 and on my girly bits as well. I’ve also got comments that it looks like I dropped. Randy and I are going to be installing our car seat sometime this week, complete with a garbage bag over it to avoid Colby hair sticking to it. He rides to/from work everyday when I pick up and drop Randy off. It’s his treat of the day.

And on that note I’m going to ChaCha for another 45 minutes before going to pick him up. He’s pulling a 12 hour shift today. Overtime has been very gracious lately.

I was laying in bed this morning thinking of something I was curious what other people thought or if I’m being unreasonable.

There’s been a lot going on in the past 2 months all at once. I moved out, got married, and am expecting a baby in 3 weeks. My mom threw me a bridal shower on August 2nd when we moved which I was incredibly grateful for. Then she helped out a ton with buying things for the wedding and organizing which was also appreciated. She was going to throw me a baby shower but Randy’s mom told her at the bridal shower that since mom threw that, she’d take care of the baby shower. It sounds simple enough, right? The problem lies in the date she decided to have it. Mom asked right before the wedding since she hadn’t heard anything and she told us it would be on September 13th.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful but seriously? I think that’s incredibly late. I am due on September 22nd or 20th depending on which day you ask my Dr. That is a week before my due date and it’s not unusual to go into labor beforehand. Randy’s mom has jokingly said it’s OK if she’s at her own baby shower but I thought the whole point was to be prepared beforehand? It’s causing me to stress out because I can’t wait around to see what I may end up getting. I need to be prepared and right now I am definitely not.

I don’t have any hygienic items for her and no where to sleep for her b/c my mom has hinted at buying a P&P which is what we wanted. I’m sure if I took a stroll through the baby aisle I’d see a bunch of other things I may need. I feel so unprepared for her arrival. Am I being unreasonable here? I have a feeling if I go out and buy stuff it’d be wasteful since I may end up getting it at the baby shower and I’m trying to pinch pennies as it is. (I went and spent like $250 the day before my bridal shower since it was a surprise and could’ve saved myself a ton of money). Now I wonder, what do I do?