Happy 3 years to us

Today is mine and Randy’s 3 year dating anniversary. Wow. It’s hard to believe it has been so long that we met. We moved fast. We met one day, I asked him out the next day, and 2 days later we began dating/he moved in. It’s been long, it’s been hard. We’ve dealt with prison, jail, rehab, a halfway house. We’ve had issues with each other’s families (mainly mine with his but i adore most of them now) but we’re here and I’m glad. I’ve had to deal with constant criticism of being with someone who was a felon, someone who was in prison. He wasn’t worth it, I was wasting my time so many people said. I love when people see where we are now and they are eating their words. We’re married and have a gorgeous little girl who I wouldn’t trade for the world. He’s at a kickass job career and we’re only going up from here.

Tomorrow we’re going to Outback to celebrate although we’ve invited a friend/his gf with us so we can socialize a bit more. Mmm, outback. *drool* We’ve got the rest of our lives to go and I can’t wait to see what it will all bring.

Call of Duty MW2

*points to title* I’ve been playing that game entiely too much lately but I love it. Granted, I suck. I will admit i’m the kind of person who goes 7 and 40 sometimes but I don’t care. I have fun and since I play with my husband, his best friend Corey (like a brother to me), my brother, and a friend/his brother, we all form teams and have a lot of fun. We do a lot of mosh pit and headquarters. I changed my display name to something not girl centered b/c I got sick of the guys making snide comments towards me online, although I had 5 of my guys jumping down their throats when they did (My brother especially, he got FURIOUS). If you play feel free to add me on Steam as silvergirl0007. We also do a bit of Nazi Zombies on CoD: WaW if you’re interested in that. Ok, enough game rambling.

I scheduled Gracie’s Christmas pictures for The 14th of Dec I think. We were going to do family pictures but the coupon allows 1 subject and we’re tight on money right now so I’d rather get hers and wait on the family pics. Speaking of money tightness, Randy’s hours are cut at work. He went from 6 days a week with mostly 12.5 hour shifts to this week he worked 4 days of 8 hour shifts. *whine* The only reason is because the cool whip department is down for 3-5 weeks so people in that department are coming to lunch-ables if they don’t want to be laid off so less work to do. They also have one of their lines down so that further limits hours. Next month should be a lot better. We did get a Christmas package from the company though which had a lot of meat, a Digiornio pizza, and 12 huge containers of cool whip. Anyone need some? LOL. For the record, he works at the Kraft factory doing both lunch-able placing and sanitation depending on the day.

Newfound love for cleaning

I’ve been very into cleaning lately and I’m not sure whether it’s a nesting thing or it’s because this apartment is mine. At my mother’s house I dreaded it but I went shopping today and bought boring stuff like carpet deodorizer, a swiffer, air fresheners, sponges, and a few other household items and I think I get entirely too excited about purchasing them. I got the swiffer wet cloths that have febreeze in them but soon discovered that the dry ones do work better than I predicted for catching hair so I’ll have to pick some of them up too. I also got a downy ball so I can stop having to watch for the rinse cycle in my washer to add the softener. It may also be because we have pretty defined roles between Randy and I.

The kitchen is my territory. He does not touch my cleaning products or attempt to clean the dishes or do the laundry. I’m set in my ways and if things get out of sorts it annoys me. He also doesn’t vacuum in the house. His area of expertise is cleaning up after Colby outside (pooper scooper anyone?), tools, the car (which he vacuumed this morning in preparation for installing the carseat. I had hair galore from Colby in there) , and of course doing that whole work outside the home thing. I’m a creature of habit and minor changes throw off my whole day. I also do most of the cooking although he does know how. I just like the traditional roles I guess. I also feel that I should be doing the majority of the work at home since I’m choosing to be a stay at home mother while he takes on 10-12 hour shifts 6 days a week.

How do you and your significant other delegate responsibilities in and out of the home? How do you feel about it?

39 weeks and 1 day. Dum dum dum

Well today was *hopefully* my last doctor appointment. Knowing my luck, Gracie is going to make us wait until after the due date though. The appointment went the same as always. I’ve lost 2 lbs and my BP is excellent. If I don’t go into labor before Monday’s appointment then on Monday he’s going to see if I’m dilated at all but he doesn’t want to rush things if my body isn’t ready which I am SO grateful for. I don’t want an induction. I’m also on orders to keep off my feet as much as possible due to the constant pain and swelling in my left foot which is unexplainable. I think I might end up in labor before then or so I’m hoping that these random feelings of twinges in my vagina (TMI yes), back pain, cramps, and the omg I have to pee every 20-30 minutes instead of every hour aren’t just psychological. I’ve definitely noticed it’s a bit tighter to drive with my belly being so rounded out.

Randy’s working overtime tonight which isn’t surprising to me in the least. He likes money. I like the attitude he’s got about working to support myself and Gracie. I see FAR too many relationships built with lazy men mooching off of their women just because they can like Randy’s cousin. She worked until 3 days before her due date. There is NOTHING wrong with women working or both working but her boyfriend should have been working to help instead of lounging around while she supported both of them. It’s ridiculous. Randy and I are on the same page when it comes to me working. He wants me to stay at home with Gracie and he works to support us financially. I help out a bit with ChaCha and I do the majority of the housework. It’s equal to us as a trade off. I just hate seeing girls who do ALL of it such as Randy’s sister, cousin, and a few other people that we know personally. Ah well though. All I can do is live my life and appreciate that I have a good man who is on the same page when it comes to goals and ideals.

With that being said, I’m going to go try to earn the last few dollars on ChaCha before midnight’s monthly payoff cutoff and then organize some more baby clothes/do the dishes. I might decide to put some clothes on as well considering I’m sitting wrapped in a towel right now. There are some perks to being completely alone in the house. ^_^

Independence or lack thereof

Independence is something I do not deal with very well. Let me explain a bit. Before Randy I was with my ex, Mike, from March of 05 until Dec of 06. He was emotionally abusive blah blah. We split when Randy came along in Dec 06. I went right from one relationship to the other.

Then Randy was taken from me to jail a week into the relationship. He did a month there, followed by a month in rehab, and then 6 months in a halfway house which was never completed. This led to a violation of probation and in November he went to prison for a year. I learned to be independent in that year with having to do everything from bring in money to calling the prisons for information/policies, ensuring things went smoothly for his homecoming, etc. I got used to knowing everything was in my hands and no one was there to help me. I was fine with only talking to him once a day or less if it had to be. I even went to MD for 3 days with no contact. He was the needy one. However, it didn’t make it any easier to see him for 6 hours at a time and have to turn my back and watch him stand in a line for a strip search after each visit.

Then in November he came home and I think I have a fear that the cops are going to show up again and take him from me. When he left in November of ‘07 we were sleeping when the cops showed up. My dad called up to come downstairs. Randy stood up, threw a pair of pants on, looked down the ladder of the loft and said bye. I got down there and they were already breathalizing and handcuffing him. I will never get that image out of my mind.

I get incredibly antsy if I don’t know exactly where he is at any given time. I insist we go to doctor appointments together along with stores and pretty much any errands. I don’t mind doing the shopping or whatever with him in the car but I need to know where he is. Every time he goes into parole for a check in I fear he’s going to not come out. It was a big feat last week when I left for 3 hours to go to the store and do shopping while he stayed home. It’s driving both of us crazy. The clinginess gets to him but he deals fairly well with keeping me calm. Today for example he left at 10:30 to go with his friend to get some arrows in a town 20 minutes away. I woke up at 1:35 and he wasn’t home. I called and they had stopped at his dad’s to patch the tire but had to wait for him to arrive. It was 3 hours and I was wigging out. The thought of him getting his license back terrifies me too because then he really can come and go whenever. I’m also going to state here, it’s not an issue of worrying about infidelity whatsoever.

I just feel like I’m dragging him down. I don’t want to contribute this to hormones because I feel it’s deeper than that. I know he needs to sleep odd hours and that leaves me to do some stuff alone but I fight it if possible. Perhaps it is rooted also in the fact that I do everything he is required to since I am his taxi cab, so I expect the same in return? I can’t pinpoint it. But it sucks.