P90X has been going very well for me. Today is Day 7 where I can either do X-stretch or rest but I’m leaning towards rest. I slept funny and as a result my neck and shoulder are incredibly sore. Maybe my feelings will change later on in the day. We’ll see. My favorite of the workouts that I’ve done so far is Kenpo. I like the punching and kicking. It went by really fast too and didn’t seem like an hour whatsoever. This is the longest I’ve ever stuck with an exercise routine (sad huh?) so if you’re looking for something to try to get into I highly recommend it. I love the variety that it offers.

Otherwise life is well, life. Randy is working more now than ever (Mandatory 12 hour shifts many days and 7 days a week on some weeks) so money is trickling in to pay bills but at a cost to time together and his health. He doesn’t eat very much at all (I’m probably say less than 1000 cals a day, seriously). When he sleeps he will sleep for 11 hours and still be incredibly tired once he gets up. When he does eat it’s usually something that isn’t very nutritious like frozen pizza and he eats chunky soup at work but that’s full of sodium. I’m going to be getting a multivitamin for him to take but I really wish he’d see a doctor too. Maybe his iron his low or something else but I’ve never seen a person sleep as much as he does. I worry about him. In 8 months he’s lost about 4 inches on his waist and he’s already skinny so he doesn’t need to be losing weight (He’s under 160 now and he’s like 5′10″?)

Gracie is the same as usual. Full of attitude already and very vocal. She’ll often go on these 1/2 hour long blabber sessions. She can’t sit up by herself for very long without toppling over and she won’t lie on her tummy so crawling isn’t quite there either. She’s fond of throwing things of course and her hair is growing a bit more. No teeth have broken through yet Of course everything she holds goes in her mouth. She loves to chew my microphone on my headset when she’s on my lap or grab my cell phone and chew that while listening to music on it as well. She gets lots of attention from everyone, except her dad who sees her a maximum of 10 minutes a day. It’s sad. I worry that she’s not going to know who he is but when she does see him she is always full of smiles and cries when he hands her to me because of the short time period. I think he has a week long lay off coming up next month which will be nice for time together (his job pays unemployment for their layoffs).

I want spring. I miss nice weather and I was over snow the first day it fell.

We got home at about 10 or so and immediately went up to bed and snuggled and slept. It’s nice to sleep together once in awhile. I miss that with him being on 3rd shift. I’ve done 2 days of p90x and ouch. The first day I completed it and was exhausted (although ab ripper X I struggle hardcore with. I have a LOT of excess fat and NO balance so some positions are difficult to even get into let alone hold) and yesterday I made it until 20 mins of plyometrics was left. I definitely don’t have endurance and my heart rate was above the threshold. Next time I’m going to try to make it through the entire workout. I also still have a sprained toe which made jumping VERY difficult every time I came down. I have issues even walking on it. I was definitely working but I can’t expect to be as fit as they are or even a normal person because I don’t have an active life style and I’m not going to pretend that I do. Today I’m doing shoulders/arms and ab ripper X. I hope to get a little further with Ab ripper (make it through each exercise without time left) and I’m going to get a few stronger resistance bands today as well.

I’m struggling especialyly when it comes to support. I got wise cracks from my mom about “Well how long are you going to stick with THIS?” and laughing at me struggling to do a certain exercise or whatever. That right there is why I find it so hard to workout. I’m SO self conscious and I don’t need negative influences. I shouldn’t be ridiculed for trying to do something to change my body which I’m most definitely NOT happy with. I just know today that EVERYTHING HURTS. Abs and legs the most.

On the food front, changes haven’t really been made too much. I’m trying to make baby steps here instead of diving in all at once and failing. My biggest struggle is pop and I can’t do diet (ewww artificial sweeteners). I can’t handle them in ANYTHING so sugar free this or that is out of the question. All I can say right now is that I’m trying. It has to count for something.

I miss my husband. Between the fact that his commute is about 25 minutes longer now each way plus us getting a vehicle which requires some maintenance (therefore he spends any waking time in the garage) and overtime the only time I see him is right in the morning when he’s home from work before Gracie wakes up which is anywhere from 7:15-8:30. We cuddle and chat and then he’s off until 5:30/6 and there’s no us time. We don’t have privacy either so even time we do have together is open with everyone else. He’s on a 7 days on 1 day off schedule now so we don’t know when his next days off will be but as of now his next day won’t be until next Saturday which is 13 days straight. Overtime @ $22/hr is nice. I know I sound like I switch thoughts in the middle because I complain about money issues and then when that is being fixed I’m not happy because I miss him too much. I can’t win for losing.

On a positive note my brother got invited to beta test Starcraft 2 and it is AWESOME. He let me have his login info so I can try it out too and it’s just… worth the wait I’d say. I also obtained p90x or should say I’m in the process of it thanks to Anna inspiring me and once I get the program I intend on doing it. Maybe that will give me a goal and something to do every day since it’s very motonous living here. I don’t have the entire house to clean anymore and I get a lot of help with Gracie so I have more free time. I bought a few weights, a yoga mat, and resistance bands along with some protein bars in preparation. I need to find my DVDs to burn the videos. My sister is going to do it with me and maybe my younger brother too since we all need it. For now I’m going to go curl up in bed with some wife swap. Oh what fun.

I wrote a past entry about it with details but in short they were married a month and she got knocked up by another guy but Randy didn’t show up to court while he was in the halfway house 3 hours away so he got a ruling against him and it didn’t get terminated for almost 2 years at $75/week. He now owes about $300 to her and then that will be done. I can file an injured spouse form but like we both said, why? They’ll just take it next year from his portion and it’s better for both of us to just let this finish itself out and put her in the past completely. Karma will bite her in the ass in the future. He fully admits she was his biggest mistake, even moreso than him going to prison. I keep telling myself that she may have taken his money but we have each other, our beautiful daughter, and money will continue to come in our direction from his hard earned paychecks.

On the other note here, this means we are now stuck here a bit longer than we anticipated. We owe my parents for our vehicle and then we have to save up to move out again, which gets rather pricey as many may know. *sigh* Being grown up is definitely no fun.

As for an update on our general situation, ummm, apartment listings are scarce. It seems no one is moving lately and we are limited to this county only soooooooo I check every day and cross my fingers for that 1 that will appear. We get our tax return in exactly 1 week (I’m jealous of people who filed and got it in 1 week, I filed almost 2 weeks ago). We will have roughly $3,000 to use for getting a place and finding a vehicle for randy since $1,000 goes to my parents and another $1,000 for his fines/re-application for license. Financially we’re OK and I’m glad to say we can afford luxuries every so often but I reallllly want to find somewhere else to live.

My truck/blazer/whatever is doing good. They replaced the part this weekend and the engine light shut off so Thursday we get the NYS inspection done and Randy has a few tune ups to do on it this weekend but I’m really liking it and 4 wheel drive is some awesomesauce. *Yawn* I felt like death warmed over yesterday for some reason I had a horrid headache and intense nausea. Yuck.

The internet seems slow lately. What’s up in your world?

Well Randy and I have had a few minor issues with our car for awhile but nothing that made it un-drivable, until a slip on slush had our ass end hit a curb at less than 5mph. Our unibody was so weak that it is now bent, aka, shot. So we began the hunt for a new vehicle. We surfed Craigslist for an hour or so and Randy called one and said I think I found one. We made arrangements to have his mom take us down (75 miles one way!) and made absolute certain we had all the stuff to transfer our current registration over so we could drive back. After the DMV we were the happy owners of a 1996 Chevy Blazer. About 10 miles down the road 1 of the brake lines blew due to it sitting for awhile and the pressure so it was ever so fun driving back with only front brakes, I tell ya. When all was said and done though we did make it back in 1 piece and now it is sitting in my driveway. Randy will be replacing the brake line tomorrow after work since he’s running on no sleep and needs rest before his shift tonight. It has a remote starter and brand new tires on it (less than 300 miles) and routine maintenance. We only paid $1,000 for it as well.

Gracie had her 4 month appointment tomorrow as well. She got her shots again and cried for all of 30 seconds. As soon as I handed her to daddy she was content. She is 24 inches long and weighs 13lb13oz. The doctor LOVED my cloth diapers. He had me show him how to use them (inserts in pockets) and then said he liked them and they were much better than disposables against the skin. Here is a picture I just took of her. My flash on my camera doesn’t work anymore (idk why) but it’s why pictures are few and far between now.

On top of all of this, they discovered my car frame is bent so it is shot and not safe to drive. As a result we are using mom’s SUV for errands which sucks for sharing purposes and also for gas (we’ve gone through over $100 since thursday). We talked to a guy on Craigslist and we might be going to buy an SUV tomorrow but it’s 82 miles away so we need to solidify that he will be home and it’s not going to be gone before we make the long ass trip. Since Randy’s mom insures our vehicles for cost reasons, she needs to come with us so we can hit up the DMV right there and drive back instead of towing (oh the gas, OW). It’s really nice and my parents are going to lend us the money until our taxes come in next week to get it, thankfully.

Gracie goes to get her 4 month shots today which I’m EVER so excited about (Not, cranky cranky baby and emotional mommy) and we need to turn in our road runner box, get our mail forwarded (I forgot!), and stop by his mom’s house to discuss tomorrow with her. My lips are chapped too from the bitter cold and moving combined.

I’m just not in a very good mood right now. Life is hectic and I’m going to go nuts with all the crowdedness here. I like wide open spaces.

Today you turn 4 months old. Wow, it’s hard to believe that much time has passed. Everyone always says time goes by faster than you know it but you can’t really know what it’s like until you experience it. Let’s see what has happened since our last update. We go back to the doctor on the 1st for your 2nd round of shots and 4 month appointment. I expect him to tell me you’ve definitely gained a bit of weight and height too. Everything seems too short on you. We’re still strong with our cloth diapers and mommy is about to go on a splurge and get some more one sized pockets and the next size in prefolds. I don’t think you care though, as long as your little butt is dry you’re content.

You chew everything in sight from blankets to pacifiers to fingers (both yours and ours). You also like to pull hair (owww) and this includes grandpa’s beard which you find hilarious. You’re full of smiles and have been sleeping in your crib every single night going to bed between 8 and 10pm. You wake up 3-4 times a night for a feeding before you decide at about 6:30/7 you’re up for the day. Naps are sporadic and do I miss them. You could sleep for 10 minutes and be ready to go for another few hours.

Sitting up is slowly improving. You don’t fall over nearly as much. You can also roll from belly to back but we don’t see it too much since you HATE tummy time for longer than a minute. Baths have gotten easier and depending on your mood, so has dressing you. You still get finicky though. We notice you aren’t too attached to either mommy or daddy and have no problems being around any one who will give you attention. This was our plan, as we like that you are loved by many MANY people and don’t require being held 24/7 by one person. You definitely know who we are though and your face lights up when you see either of us.

I swear you look more and more like your daddy every day and you get comments about how your ears are like his, big and awkward. That’s OK, your hair will cover them up when it gets long enough. Your eyes seem to have settled on being green like mommy’s though. As for solids, nope. We’re not ready for you to start them and expect to wait at least another month before introducing and most likely 2 months. I just don’t think you’re ready yet and I’m glad that daddy doesn’t fight me on the issue although grand parents are another thing. They try their best and offer wisdom but sometimes opinions differ. We’ll all work it out though. You constantly make noises, flail your arms, and give expressions that are beginning to show your little personality already. You also will now pick up toys and move them so your coordination is improving. Here is to another month full of exciting changes.

Love,
mommy and daddy

(The flash on my camera doesn’t work so I haven’t been taking a lot of pictures. Here is a recent one from my phone).

I do have all week to finish packing. We move on Saturday. I haven’t really advanced beyond packing up my pots/pans/most of my dishes because we use stuff on a regular basis that really can’t be packed. I’m going to go to the store tomorrow to buy some paper/plastic silverware and such so I can pack the rest up but we don’t want to eat out all week because hello MONEY and I also want to cook up anything we have left in our fridge freezer. Wow, I’m such a boring blogger lately. I’m trying to look on the bright side of moving but *sigh* I like my own place. We’re immediately putting away $1200 of our taxes into a savings account for our next apartment so all we have to do is find one and maybe that will keep us from being there for months on end. I’m excited to file my taxes but I’m waiting on my unemployment form to do so. Just like NYS to wait until the very end of the month to mail the form out. Grrrr. I’m more excited about the SUV I’m getting since Randy should have his license back soon. That is a nice chunk of change ($800 for past fines). Ah well, what’s done is done.

And with that I’m going to putz around for a few more minutes and try to curl up in my nice, toasty bed.

We’ve also decided he is going to keep the car and I’ll get the SUV so we did a tune up of spark plugs, wires, and an air filter. We also have a $170 set of parts to buy on Friday but it’s OK. We’re going to take advantage of living there to get repairs made while we can afford it, get our credit card balances lowered (they’re only 400 each), and then finish getting our ducks in order so when we do move back out things are taken care of. We’ve looked into getting a mortgage but I’ve given up hope due to the fact that Randy has only had his job for 7 mos and they want 2 solid years of work history. *sigh* Ah well, we’ll work something out.

I’m exhausted though so I’m going to keep talking to Randy’s mom on the phone and then head to bed. *yawn*